you want fries with that?

there's one girl who I went to college with that I would always admire.  she was a bigger girl but carried herself better than most.  she was fashionable && had swag (for a lack of a better word).

I respected the fact that she embraced her size and dressed to fit it.

...getting to my point...

so I've gained a little weight.  no more than ten pounds... but its enough weight where my clothes don't fit the same.

lately I've been overthinking things (more than usually) && came to some conclusions...

I am uncomfortable with buying larger clothes, not being able to buy jeans from any store I go in.  I know something's got to give, I've ripped two pairs of jeans in the last month tryna fit into em [lmao].

I keep telling myself I'm gonna go on a diet, but lets be real... I love food way to much to break up with it.  So should I just say fcuk it? Im beautiful regardless, and my body is still banging? (i know this is true, but i was more comfortable maybe one pant size smaller)...

::sighs::

what do you guys think?

i hate having these girly moments.