Women in the sex industry understand men better than women who aren't in the industry?????

November 29, 2009

As I was burrowing through the hundreds of blogs I follow I found the link to a post by a women who strips at the infamous Magic City strip club.

Now I know what y'all are thinking, relationship advice from a stripper?? But this was an interesting post.

I agreed with some of her claims, then she completely lost me...

"Because we bare witness to so much fuckery, without having to be directly involved. Its like getting a live tutorial of MEN ARE DOGS 101. We know what it is that men really want and what they will do to get it. Being in the adult entertainment industry has really just exposed the skeletal make up of a man. Horny, selfish, uncontrollable creatures. Females in this industry have been conditioned to be a man's best friend, minus the leash. No matter how in or out of l-ve they may be, when put in the right situation any man will respond to temptation. Doesnt matter. "

I use to think like this... It's that high school mentality.  You can't trust men because you've been hurt a couple of times.  And you know what I say to that?  If you think every man in the universe is a scum bag, then all you'll end up with is a scum bag.

Now I'm not saying going into anything blind, if the signs are there that your guy is cheating, then he probably is. NEVER IGNORE THE SIGNS. But if they're not, don't assume the worst...

then she comes to the sad realization:

"Us ladies in the adult entertainment industry are not better than you, we are just unveiled, and just as raw. If you think about it, the hopes of romantic, monogamous and blissful relationships are at a minimum for us. Sure we know that there is a chance, but we know it comes at a cost. Whether that cost is your significant other having a secret affair, or lack of sex in the relationship, or some kind of a double life, we know the cost to worth ratio. The value you put on your man, better be worth the cost, from what I have personally seen, no "good" man, comes for free. Expect a loss. See? Only someone who has seen what I have seen would tell you something like that."

I respect that she knows her stance/place on her chances at love, but it comes with the profession.

check out the entire post here


"Back in the day when I was young, Im not a kid anymore but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again..."

November 27, 2009

This is gonna be a looonnng post... But bare with me.  It'll be worth it.  After this post, you"ll know more about me and my life, and why im thankful for it.

  • I remember family gatherings && being allowed to stay up with the adults while they drank/smoked && played spades late night.
  • I remember my mom && women who lived on our block sitting in the park with us after dark gossiping.
  • I remember going to the park by myself for the first time.
  • I remember TT.
  • I remember going down south to visit family.
  • I remember slumber parties.
  • I remember playing barbies &&having all the latest accesories. =)
  • I remember saying "Im not ya friend no more".
  • I remember cool summer nights climbing the fence to get into the school yard when it was closed to go on "ninja missons".
  • I remember my gassy ass older sister.
  • I remember my ghetto hoodrat big sister.
  • I remember play ground beefs && my sister being fearless, beatin' bxtches down...
  • I remember my sister beatin' me down.
  • I remember feeling dependant.
  • I remember beatin' my sister down &&never having a fight after that.
  • I remember 7 of us living a 2 bedroom apartment.
  • I remember crushes and how I was going to wear my hair tomorrow in school was the most important decision.
  • I remember my sister/friends going after my crush.
  • I remember when all my friends got boyfriends
  • I remember feeling smart.
  • I remember not feeling pretty.
  • I remember feeling fat.
  • I remember feeling not cool.
  • I remember getting rejected.
  • I remember sconex.
  • I remember feeling unhappy.
  • I remember not fitting in.
  • I remember being called white girl for the first time.
  • I remember my first real fight && finding out people were scared of me. ;)
  • I remember my first boyfriend.
  • I remember getting cheated on.
  • I remember rejecting someone...
  • I remember cheating on someone...
  • I remember the first time I had sex.
  • I remember dissapointing my mother for the first time.
  • I remember "figuring out boys".
  • I remember never trusting anyone.
  • I remember fights in the hall ways.
  • I remember fighting in the hall ways.
  • I remember 1st and 8th period gym was poppin'.
  • I remember cutting lunch to meet boys.
  • I remember staying out late on school nights.
  • I remember discovering my love of Beyonce.
  • I remember my trasnformation.
  • I remember developing my love for scary movies.
  • I remember being scared in my own neighborhood.
  • I remember letting what people said about me get to me.
  • I remember surpressing memories.
  • I remember crying myself to sleep.
  • I remember myspace becoming popular.
  • I remember internet beefs.
  • I remember my "friends" bailing on me on my 16th BDay.
  • I remember hating high school.
  • I remember my sheisty ass cousins.
  • I remember indepence, my first taste of freedom.
  • I remember learning to cook.
  • I remember falling in love.
  • I remember going to college.
  • I remember "movie night".
  • I remember going to dinner, 20 people deep, every saturday.
  • Hmm, I remember double dates.
  • I remember never feeling alone.
  • I remember neglecting my boyfriend.
  • I remember getting drunk.
  • I remember house parties.
  • I remember walking down a dark street late at night.
  • I remember giving guys fake numbers.
  • I remember when my ego got big.
  • I remember when no body dated anymore, they we're "messin'"...
  • I remember college parties.
  • I remember dressing sluty to parties.
  • I remember having a 4.0 gpa.
  • I remember non stop dancing from 11:30 p.m. til 1:45 a.m.
  • I remember waiting for people to post the pics on facebook.
  • I remember white people parties.
  • I remember the first time I got high.
  • I remember greats talks.
  • I remember when  I joined a sorority.
  • I remember being stressed.
  • I remember when my ego peaked.
  • I remember when I had great sex for the first time.
  • I remember feeling like a piece of meat.
  • I remember having a good boyfriend.
  • I remember feeling content &&happy.
  • I remember the first time I helped cook on Thanksgiving.
  • I remember bonding.
  • I remember realizing everything doesn't go my way.
  • I remember not having a life.
  • I remember spending my week ends at home watching t.v. or being on the computer.
  • I remember my sister and I getting along for the first time ever.
  • I remember finally really listening to rap.
  • I remember having a job.
  • I remember feeling worthless.
  • I remember realizing my life/family is a lot more ghetto than I once thought...
Whatever your situation, cherish life and always be thankful.


try sleeping with a broken heart.

November 26, 2009

Im not really feeling Ms Keys, but this is a beautiful song...


catch up.

November 24, 2009

Ok... So here's what's been going on (&& keeping me away from my baby, my blog).

Its getting pretty hectic. I can handle it though, I aced my mid-term (got the highest grade in the class :) ) && now I have a bunch of papers to write, so I don't have much time to write for leisure.

The BF.
He's great. Haven't seen him in almost a month. But I'm going to see him after thanksgiving. I really miss him. I hate long distance relationships... ::sighs::

So I went on a follow up interview for a job with my mom's company. Its a good look y'all. Salaried, full benefits, vacation time, && the whole nine yards.... I hope I get this job, i would be financially sound at least until I graduate in like 2 years. Then I'll finally be where I wanted to be at the age of 21.

I've been spending a lot of time alone, which is a huge deal for me. I've learned alot about the people around me. && with that said my circle has dropped down to three people. But I am A-O K with that, less drama to worry about.

digression: money WILL ruin friendships....

I was thinking about giving the women at my school a chance, some of them have invited me out.  At the very least they can be club buddies, right?  The only problem is they remind me so much of the chicks that called me "white girl", "stuck up", "prissy", you get the gist...

I did go out a couple of weekends ago with an old friend from high school.  I saw some old flames, but for the most part it was fun.  I felt so out of place in this damn club.  I didn't know any of the songs the DJ played.  I am so over the chicks getting banged out by dudes on the dance floor, take that shit to the bedroom.  I am even more over dudes pulling on your arm even after you've told them you weren't interested.  I will never understand why some women don't dress for their body type (they must not have friends to tell them "Bxtch go back &&change, you look a hot mess!")

other than that, I've missed basically eveything socially relevant in the media... who wants to help me catch up??


Video Phone.

November 20, 2009

Loves it.  Although I think Bey shoulda did this alone.  BRB


honorable mention.

November 13, 2009

Kid Sista- Right Hand Hi

Dirty Money- Love Come Down

Dawn is trying way too hard....

Chris Brown- Crawl/ Wendy Williams Interview

that is all.



November 10, 2009

You lied and cheated, like it ain't no thang....

How could I be upset? Now you looking at me strange.

See you just don't get it, and you probably never will...

My emotions, my sincerity, my love- were all real!

There's a common misconception, a lie we all believe in...

But I'm here to tell the truth, no time to be deceiving.

Time does not heal all wounds, cuz I still cry and feel like dirt...

And everything that I do, after you, seems like I'm prone to get hurt.

No one's ever good enough cuz I question all, keep on second guessing...

It's like I'm stuck in this class, and I'll never learn this lesson.

It was you who fcuked up, not me- not us...
-Oh my bad I didn't mean to cuss

Try to move on, force you outta my mind...

And I fail every time.

I understand now, to get over you I have to want to...

Instead, all I want is you.

Call it pathetic, insecure, or just plain dumb...

But I'd rather live life, feel life and without I'm just numb.

Good piece to read for spoken word??
What do you guys think?



I've been debating on whether or not I will actually got through with it and do spoken word....

I think I could be great, but I'm a punk...

What do you guys think??

Here's a link to the poem I wanna perform, && yes I wrote it ;)

Speechless poem


this is that sh*t I be talking about....

I hate females.  I HATE FEMALES. i hate females.

Ok let me back track a bit.
There's this girl, who shall remain nameless, who I've known since the 3rd grade.  We were best friends since then up until the 10th grade.  Our friendship ended like most highschool bff relationships do.  She got a boyfriend and you couldn't tell her nothing.  I was ready to assert my independence and no longer wanted to be known as "her friend".  Lets just say the usual high school drama.

And so when the clique she left me for left her, guess who came crawling back? DING DING DING!
That's right, she did.

So I kept her at arm's reach.  My mama always taught to never burn bridges cuz you'll never know when you'll need a person, so I did what she said... I kept my friends close, and my enemies closer...

Years pass.  I went away for college.  She stayed in NY for college.  And once the decision was made for me to come on back we decided to meet up. The two real friends that I have held onto from college both live in CT so I needed some local peeps, not friends, but someone to help pass the time.

So I meet up with her && we go shopping.  We both are discussing our financial/school situations when I realize we have a lot still in common.  She mentioned how her grandmother was subletting a 2 bedroom apart.  Rent and utilities included, and it was hella cheep.  Needless to say I was sold.

The following week we made plans to go see the apartment and I let her borrow a skirt of mine that I bought on our shopping trip.  This was back in August...  For those of you who don't know, it is now NOVEMBER!

I have yet to see the apartment and have officially moved on.  I never really wanted a roommate so now its time for me to do me, alone.

Even still, at this point, it's the principle of the matter.  I don't particularly borrow friend's clothes or vice versa because I have my own unique style and they have theirs.  Plus we're all different sizes.  So when she asked I was a bit reluctant.  But of course me being the optimistic fool that I am I figured 'hey we're gonna be living together soon, so I know I'll get it back'...

Um, yea- no.

Bitch is ducking me.  So I sent her a lovely text this morning so I could be done with it all.  Honestly, the skirt wasn't that expensive but I wanted her to know I was calling her bluff.  I tell her its really messed up to make promises etc, especially since this isn't the first time I've hit her up on the subject.  Every time I contacted her it was "yea girl Ima bring it this week end, oh and we should go out for drinks" <---- never happened.

So now she responds and tries to flip everything on me... UMMMM NO

Basically in a nutshell, she is tryna flip shit on me and say that this is a petty reason to cut ties with a person.
[I kindly remind her that if she can't return a skirt, how can i trust her to pay her half of the rent??]
She claims she has a lot going on and that I shoulda knew there was a reason why she wasn't answering me.
[bullshit, because the same 5 mins it took you to send me this text you coulda did it a month ago instead of inviting me out on the town]

This shit is really getting to me because I don't like being catty, but she's about to bring it out...
I don't understand why females act the way they do.  That's why I trust 'em as far as I can throw 'em...

you've been warned...



November 9, 2009

this is how I feel right about now....



pretty gosh darn lucky...

So you know I'm serious when it comes to this blogging stuff lol...

So I was making my rounds a while back and entered a few blog giveaways...

 Not one, but TWO...

I won three pairs of earrings.

two from Nika @ Irie Chic

And a great pair from 2BD

This is totally great considering  I'm  a total accessories junkie!!!

*sits back && waits for prizes to arrive*


no friend of mine.

November 3, 2009

Ima keep this short && sweet because I promised myself that I wouldn't devote any more time to this issue.

I'm pissed because people who are supposed to be my friends, my sisters are proving to be quite the opposite.  They're very much self centered, proud, and selfish.  My mama has always told me I'm too nice to people and that I'm a better friend to many than they are to me.

This is just another one of those times...  I'm tired of missing people, wondering how they're doing, just showing general concern when they don't even care if I'm alive.


I had a mild epiphany.  FUCK EM.  I stress the small things way too much.  I let people occupy way too much time in my mind.  But not anymore.

It's all about me && those who trully care.  How do I sort out the good from the bad??  I just stop caring.  If they call, they call.  Consistency is key.

I'll let you guys know how many people actually end up caring....

&&now back to your regular schedule.



I have been awarded by Reese @ Sweet Insanity and Sarcasm! (girl crush)
 Thanks, Im flattered ;) lol

The Honest Scrap Award Rules

  1. Present the award to seven bloggers whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design or who have encouraged you.
  2. Tell those seven people that you have given them the Honest Scrap Award.
  3. Share ten honest things about yourself.

 This is hard, cuz I don't wanna repeat bloggers.  Time to give some new people some shine but oh well...

I nominate...

  1. Lou
  2. Simone 
  3. Rosevelt Macintosh 
  4. Fianah McMillan 
  5. Eternally Fixiated
  6. The Kisser 
  7. Stacie- Ann
You guys ALL write about things I wouldn't dare, it's just not my style lol.


10 completely honest things about moi:
  1. I HATE HATE HATE repeating myself.
  2. Sometimes I wish I was guy, maybe life would be simpler...
  3. I hold grudges longer then I should.
  4. I LOVE to cook.
  5. I'm am terrified of dying && anyone close to me dying.
  6. I'm a hopeless romantic && this clouds my judgment at times.
  7. I would rather sit in the house & watch TV/snack, than to go out to the club... lol
  8. I resent people who were raised in a two parent home, I didn't have that luxury.
  9. I  hate sleeping fully clothed.
  10. I'm afraid of not being successful.
there you have it folks...



And the winner is....

So from the two entries that I had (lol) I used a random name selector from random.org

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2009-11-03 18:48:40 UTC

And with their help I have selected the winner to my first giveaway in partner with chickdowntown.com:


Lalaliybean @Dessert or disaster*

you have 48 hours to email me your contact information and your scarf selection.
Congrats again!


all up in the koolaid...

November 2, 2009

...don't even know the flava. 

anywho, got this from Reese-ey poo's blog (sorry for the corny nickname lol)

1. What time did you wake up this morning?  8:30, it was completely against my will.

2. How do you like your steak? Well done, bloody food is gross.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?  Law Abiding Citizen, great movie =)

4. What is your favorite TV show? Criminal Minds, Vampire Diaries, 90210, Melrose Place, and Degrassi.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Philly, to be closer to my big pain in the ass bf.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Frosted Flakes (all that was left).

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian.  No wait, Asian...

8. What foods do you dislike? Squid, Chitterlings....

9. Favorite place to eat? My livingroom.

10. Favorite dressing? Ranch, great on salad n buffalo chicken wings lol

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? I'll let you know when I get my license...

12. What are your favorite clothes? Fall clothes: sweaters and jeans =)

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Fiji

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends, 1/2 full unless it'sa cup of water...

15. Where would you want to retire? Idk yet.

16. Favorite time of day?  The afternoon.

17. Where were you born? Bronx, NY.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?  Whatever the bf forces me to watch (don't really bang with sports like that).

19. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? No one in particular....

20. Bird watcher? BORING

21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Both...

22. Do you have any pets? yup, my kitty named Beauty

23. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Check out the previous posts...

24. What did you want to be when you were little? A marine biologist.

25. What is your best childhood memory? All, I had a great childhood.

26. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat.

27. Are you married? Nope. Not yet.

28. Always wear your seat belt? When I'm in the front seat...

29. Been in a car accident? Yup, my first time driving... lol

30. Any pet peeves? People who chew with their mouth open.  People who talk really low.  Bad breath/hygiene. Corny pick up lines.  People who spend more money on clothes then the necessities like food or rent.

31. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Pepperoni && extra cheese.

32. Favorite Flower? White Carnation

33. Favorite ice cream? Butter pecan/cookie dough

34. Favorite fast food restaurant?  Popeyes.

35. How many times did you fail your driver's test? 0. Haven't taken one yet.

36. From whom did you get your last email? Facebook, lol

37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? None, that's just dumb.

38. Do anything spontaneous lately? This survey is about as spontaneous as I get. Lmao, j/k

39. Like your job? Yes, if I had one.

38. Broccoli?  Yes with lots of cheese.

41. What was your favorite vacation? Cruise to the bahamas last august with my fam.

42. Last person you went out to dinner with? My boyfriend.

43. What are you listening to right now? Street cars and police sirens.

44. What is your favorite color?  Blue, duh.

46. How many are you tagging for this quiz? anyone who reads it.

47. What time did you finish this quiz? 2:49 pm

48. Coffee drinker? Ugh, no thanks.

Tag ur it... Repost!


What the hell does Rihanna have to say??

it's like a bad car accident, I can't look away....



November 1, 2009

Its been nine days since my last post...  May not seem like a big to some, but this blog is like my diary.  A very public diary.

Anyways. For the last couple of days i've been in a funk.  Idk why, it just hit me kind of suddenly.
My neice is sick which means no sleep for anyone in a 50 mile radius.

I finally caught up in all my classes.  I had switched my schedule around so that I could take all evening classes.  New classes= new work. Luckily the professors were really cool about me entering the class so late but whatever.  In these new classes I learned something terrible about myself.

I like white professors better then my previous black professors.  Now before anyone tries to chop my head off hear me out.  Because my new school is filled with students in the "adult learning" program they are not all on the same level.  Some are earning a GED while earning their bachelor's, some are continuing education after taking many years off from school.

Getting to the point...The black professors always try to "relate" by making generalizations.  They make comments in class about having to juggle "all your kids" && finding time to study.  They make street references comparing the material to gangs, prostitution, etc.

Now I get that some people may relate &&this is a great way to reach out to them, but what about the traditional student? What about the students who don't have children and don't run the streets?

Can't you just teach me about John Dewey && keep it moving?? Oh && we have syllabi that we don't stick to. If one person in the class is confused they change the whole lesson plan to cater to them.  What ever happened to private tutoring?

Now my white professors, they assume that you're an active student (you read, do the homework,, etc.).  They explain things to you && open up a dialogue.  They want you to think, have an opinion, instead of just dictating to you.

I took my niece trick-or-treating in the neighborhood &&its safe to say the hoodrats were out in full effect.  LADIES!  I'm down for the dressing up in costumes tryna look cute, but lets set some ground rules:
  1. If your over the age of 15, it is only acceptable to wear a costume to a halloween party or if your having trick-or-treaters coming to your house.
  2. Don't wear lingerie out to the club with some wings and call it a costume, that's trashy.
  3. Cleavage is only cute if your breasts aren't saggy.
  4. As far as costumes go:  if you wouldn't wear a short tight mini dress to the club on a regular day, maybe you shouldn't on halloween either, even with some little ears && a tail.
  5. Last but not least, if you can't walk in heels you should opt for the flats (I think this applies for any day tho)
My niece's good for nothing  "mother" && hood rat friend were in attendance && the added attention was recognized.  They were turning heads left && right, but I don't  think it was necessarily a good thing.  They both have reputations && i hate being out with them becauser I feel like the poor decisions they've made reflect on me while I'm standing next to them.  But whatever, it was a one time thing....

My boyfriend && I celebrated our 3 month anniversary by arguing.  We're always arguing && always making up.  Idk, I think it's the distance which is exactly why I'm going to visit him this Thursday.  We're gonna go out on a "blind date", you kno role playing lol.  I'll  let you guys know how it turns out...

YAY!!!! I have 100+ followers, thanks guys I truly appreciate it!

That's all for now, until later...

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